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My Cat’s Too Smart

This is Legend. She hunts.
All photos by the author for this post

Let me tell you a story about my cat Legend.

She caught a mouse. No idea where the mouse came from, but my house isn’t exactly airtight, and we’ve had mouse problems around the house before.

The face of retirement.

I have two cats, though, so it shouldn’t be a problem, right? One of them is a former feral tom (now thoroughly retired, mind you), so he should know his way around a hunt. But he’s actually pretty bad at hunting these days.

The little one, despite being a scaredy cat in nearly every way, is a surprisingly good huntress.

I wasn’t home at the time, so I just got some frantic messages from my fiance about Legend catching the mouse.

Catching it wasn’t the problem. The problem is that she doesn’t know what to do with it when she’s caught it. She’s very good at catching things. But then she lets them go so she can keep playing.

Legend, left, is ready to hunt (but not kill!). Porch Cat, right, will probably kill you if you disturb his nap, but that’s about it.

Reader, she let the mouse go.

Later that day I come home wondering if there’s still a mouse running around the house. So I say to my two cats, knowing that they’ll do ANYTHING for a Squeeze-Up treat (this is how I convince them to let me trim their claws), “A Squeeze-Up to the first one who brings me a mouse!”

Legend is on it and starts diving into her hiding spots. She brings me something gray and fuzzy–and for a moment I’m terrified that she’s actually done it.

Reader, this was the “mouse”:

That ominous shadow is Legend. She heard me put the toy on the ground. She’s ready to hunt again!

“No, that doesn’t count,” I tell her.

A few minutes later, she brings me another “mouse”

No, your pink plushy mouse doesn’t count either.

I guess I needed to be more specific.

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